getting paid to drink diet coke is actually the best job

Today, I find myself having several different jobs at once. In order of preferance, they are: mother, writer, editor, and medical editor. But I have had many, many jobs in my life, some of them worlds better than others.
 
Here are the top three favorite jobs I have had:
 
1. Something-or-other for a Security Company: Originally when they hired me, I thought I was to be answering the phone. But the few times I did answer it, my boss picked up and said, “Don’t answer the phone!” My first day at work, I got there before my boss and sat for about an hour doing nothing. Then, I got bored and started reading a book. At that point my boss came in and said, “What are you doing?” I was nervous because I had obviously missed the part where I was told what I was supposed to be doing as far as work. Then, my boss followed up with, “Turn on the light when you’re reading or you’ll hurt your eyes.” Then next time he spoke to me was when he asked me to order him lunch, which I ended up ordering and picking up for him every day. Sometimes, I made coffee. Sometimes, I even made Irish coffee. But that was all I did. Eventually, they got me a computer and I naturally thought I was to do some sort of work on that. But instead I played minesweeper for hours (there was no internet). The job unfortunately ended when his daughter came back from maternity leave.
 
2. Flea Market Helper: When I was very young, like under ten years old, my parents sold various items (mostly new hand tools like hammers and screwdrivers, if I remember correctly) at flea markets. We went all over the five boroughs of New York City, as well as Long Island and the Hudson Valley. I liked the car trips and the eating of junk food at the flea markets. But most of all, I liked it that people handed us their money, and all we had to do was sit there in order to get it. I am only now realizing this was very much like my job at the security company.
 
3. SomethingSomething Continuing Medical Education Company: This place knew they needed an Editorial Assistant, but they didn’t know the function of one. So I sat at my cubical all day for weeks and months on end and did nothing. This was after my deadbeat college period, so I genuinely tried to be helpful; I offered to edit things on a regular basis, but always got a cheery “No thanks!” from my boss. The company had a free soda machine, so you could drink ten Diet Cokes a day if you wanted to (not that I did that). They also had bagels one day a week, and parfaits one day a week. There were even free feminine hygiene products in the bathroom. At company meetings, we were given gifts of stuffed animals and Starbucks gift cards. Once a month, there was massage day, and we always had parties for every holiday. There was even a festival for Arbor Day. And almost once a week, there was an email from the president saying, “Be the first to respond to this and win a prize!” It was a very good year for me, but eventually they ran out of money and let us all go. 
 
This is getting much longer than I anticipated, so I’ll post again tomorrow about the three worst jobs I ever had. In direct contrast to the above-mentioned three jobs, all of these involved doing actual work!

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