I’ll be there for you (with repetitive plot devices and flat, obvious humor)

In honor of Mother’s Day, I am going to share a random memory of my mother that eventually turned into a journey of shame and depression. My mom passed away 13 years ago, but I randomly remembered a few months ago that she once said, “I actually kind of like that show Friends, except for that one annoying guy.”

It took very little for me to become obsessed with this memory, to the point where I just had to watch the show to figure out which one was the one annoying guy. In case you don’t know, and I hope you don’t, there are nine seasons of Friends, so watching the entire series, start to finish, is a big commitment, especially since the only purpose was to re-connect in one very small and even insignificant way with my mother. But I was willing to do it.

In any case, I somehow got up to the last episode of the eighth season, when a song from the first Interpol album came on. I immediately stopped the show and looked up when that album was released: 2002. My mom died in early March 2002, so I am fairly certain I ended up watching more of that crappy show than she ever did. Instead of feeling relief that I never have to watch the ninth season, I just felt depressed that my mother never got to watch the end of that stupid show. And it made me wonder what crappy show I will be in the middle of watching when I drop dead. (Right now, I am thinking it more likely that GRR Martin drops dead before me, but who knows?)

When I mentioned this to my husband, who has never had to process the agonizing, soul-crushingness that is Friends, he said, “Obviously the annoying one is just David Schwimmer.” Which was the same conclusion I came to and made me want to rip out my hair, because, really, I could have made that uninformed decision after only watching about five minutes of a single episode.


It is unspeakably upsetting to me that I know all their names.

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