Day in the Life of a WFH Mom

When I wrote this last post, my kids were still attending online school, and I had to help the younger one a lot. Now, they are back at school full-time! Full time school is Monday through Friday, 8:30am to 2:00pm. Back in 2019, when I was commuting most days of the month, there was after-school programs that lasted until 5:00pm. But now, there is still no after-school available. I am fine with that for now. I’m just so glad they are having the opportunity to learn with their peers in person. And both kids (even the younger one who used to hate school) are really happy about learning in person!

Anyway, here’s the schedule:

6:30am: I wake up and quickly get dressed and feed my dog Ziggy. I’ve bought an automatic feeder for my cat and it’s changed my life. For awhile the cat would wake at 5am and yowl for food, waking the dog, who would then lick my face until I got up. It’s sad that I now think of 6:30am as sleeping in.

6:45am: I take Ziggy out for potty. Now that it’s spring (almost summer), I am trying to get my almost potty trained dog to the point where she doesn’t go in the yard anymore. This is extremely taxing since I’m the only walker of the dog.

7:00am: I wake up the kids, get them dressed and ready, and feed them breakfast. I also pack their lunches.

8:00am: We are out the door, walking the half mile to school with the dog.

Happy to be back to school in late April!

8:40am: I am back at home with the dog. I eat breakfast and drink coffee while reading a book.

9:00am: I have finished coffee and switch to tea, which I bring into my office, as it’s time to start working.

12:00pm: I take the dog around the block for a potty break, and grab lunch from the kitchen and bring it to my office to eat while working.

1:40pm: School is out soon, so I take the dog with me to pick up the kids. They play in the schoolyard for about 20 minutes before we start walking home. This is my official lunch break.

2:35pm: At home, I fix a snack for the kids (usually cheese or hummus and crackers, fruit and carrots, or pizza rolls).

2:40pm: Back to work. The kids have “free time,” which means usually TV or video games. On Mondays, the older has piano. On Tuesdays, their uncle takes them to the park. On Wednesdays, a babysitter takes them to the park or plays board games. On Thursdays and Fridays, sometimes one of us parents will be free to do something.

5:00pm: Off work! I usually go around checking in on the kids and then take the dog for a walk. Sometimes we’ll all go to the park briefly if the kids didn’t go earlier.

6:00pm: I feed the dog and cat and make dinner. Then we immediately clean up: do the dishes, clear off the table, clean the counters, go through the kids’ backpacks and clean out their lunchboxes and water bottles. We try to have the kids do most of this. I also check homework and help do it if necessary, but both kids seem to do their homework in school.

7:00pm: My new favorite time of day. The kids are allowed to play video games and the dog has already had three long walks, so I sit in my west-facing window and read a book. Usually, tea is also involved.

8:30pm: The kids are done with their game time. We watch one show together.

9:00pm: We head upstairs. I’ve started putting them to bed a little earlier than when they were in online school since now they actually have to be up and dressed before 8am. The kids take showers. I read to the youngest for awhile, and then the oldest gets an audiobook. I usually shower while this is happening.

How does a 23-pound dog take up most of my bed?

10:30pm: One last potty time for the dog, and then we head to bed.

For now, I am loving this schedule, which allows us to have plenty of time together, as well as plenty of independent time. I’ve also never had better work-life balance. Soon, however, summer vacation will be upon us and all will change again!

Day in the Life of WFH and Homeschooling Mom

Since March 13, 2020, I have been a full-time working from home mom who also sort of homeschools two kids. I say sort of because since the end of March last year, the NYC DOE has been having Zoom/Google classroom schooling. But back then, I had to do everything for both of them, including keep two very separate schedules. And also do my own job. And also feed everyone.

Slowly, everything has been shifting. Since the fall, my older son has been able to handle all of his assignments without my help. This morning, my younger son showed me that he finally learned to take attendance by himself.

But these homeschooling days may soon be over. Next week, my kids are supposed to go back to school five days a week, from 8am to 2pm. I am very glad my older son, who is graduating elementary school in June, will have the opportunity to see all of his classmates in person again before switching schools and maybe not seeing them again ever.

It’s a little bittersweet, because while this life has been challenging, I feel like I never would have gotten the opportunity to know my kids so well had we not been forced to be in each others presence for 24 hours a day for more than a year. Thinking about that give me the idea of writing down my typical daily schedule, before it changes again.

6:30am: I wake up and quickly run to let Ziggy (who’s 95% house trained) outside. I haven’t set an alarm in more than a year. This is just when I get up now. Then I feed my cat, Oz, while the dog is still outside. Once he’s eating, I let her in and get her breakfast. Then I make coffee.

7:00am: This is probably my favorite time of day. No one else is up yet. I typically drink my coffee while sitting in the bay window and reading a book. When I commuted, I loved reading on the train, and it was the one time dedicated to reading for pleasure. Since I don’t commute anymore, my reading time went way down in 2020. But now that I’ve found this perfect time to read, I’m a lot happier. Plus, unlike subway reading, I can do it in my pajamas with my feet up.

It’s hard to read when being squeaked at!

7:30-8:00am: The kids wake up and demand breakfast. I attempt to get them dressed as well.

8:00am: I take Ziggy out for a short walk while the kids eat and watch TV. Note that my spouse is still home–the kids are not alone.

8:30am: School starts for both kids. Sometimes, I have to do something with the younger but usually I take the opportunity to eat breakfast.

9:00am: Work starts officially for me. I get another drink (sometimes coffee or tea or just water) and head into my private office, which I am so happy to have.

9:20am: Morning class is over for my younger son. He comes to tell me this and then sits by me while reading a book.

9:45am: Book finished, son begs for “free time.” Usually I am working, so I have no choice but to allow the free time.

11:15am: Older son reports that his class is over. He either plays with Ziggy in the yard or reads or plays with his brother. I may walk the dog if she’s not playing. Otherwise, I start lunch prep. They kids eat lunch early because of class schedules.

12:10pm: Younger son’s second class starts. I usually take my lunch back to my office.

2:00pm: Officially school is over at this time, but there is still a lot to do depending on the day. My older son has piano class once a week, a school tutor once a week, and a private tutor twice a week. My younger son has both a school tutor and a private tutor twice a week. Once I get them settled, I’ll try to step away for a short walk with the dog. Then, back to work.

5:00pm: Work is over! I am fortunate to work for a place that allows me to take breaks as needed, but at the end of the day I am very happy to forget work and take a long walk with the dog. Sometimes, people will come with me, but I don’t mind either way.

6:00pm: Back home and dinner for the animals, and then I prepare dinner for the humans. We are usually done with dinner by 7.

7:00pm: If there is no homework to do and it’s nice, we all might go for another walk, especially if, for some reason, I’ve had to skip the earlier one. If not, we all might watch TV together or play a game. I have a low level of patience for TV, so I can only do this for about an hour before I switch to something else, like reading or artwork. The kids can play video games with their friends at this time, so they usually do this, either by zoom meeting or facetime. This has been their primary means of socialization for some time, and I’m glad they do get to talk to other kids apart from zoom school.

A walk at the local reservoir.

9:30pm: Bedtime for kids. They take showers, youngest first. When he’s done, we read a physical book while the older is showering. Then they both listen to an audio book while I shower and get ready for bed.

10:30pm: I let the dog out one last time and then retrieve my phone from the kids room and say goodnight (even though they are asleep). Our cat, Oz, sleeps with the boys. He takes turns which bed he sleeps in. Then I go to bed. Ziggy runs upstairs after her last potty break and passes out immediately on my bed, so I usually have to ask her to roll over. I may read or meditate, or just pass out immediately as well.

Exciting, no?!? Well, boring or not, I have been having a great time with more relaxing days at home with my kids than I ever thought possible. While I am looking forward to them being back in school, I know I will miss this time!

First day of school blues

11149584_10207514855295196_4356469989593861709_n
All ready for school!
Today is my older son’s first day of kindergarten. When he was born almost five years ago, this day seemed so far away, but now, with seemingly no warning, it’s here. This day, and these last few months in general, have been somewhat of emotional roller coaster for me.
To make a long story into a somewhat shorter story, I was a stay-at-home mom for a few weeks this summer. Summer is usually a slow time for the work I do, and it seemed like a good time to try out my ideas of working less and being with family more. Did I enjoy it? Almost all of it, except for one big part. I worry about money all the time. It’s just my nature to do so. And that I wasn’t contributing to the household very much did upset me. So one day, I asked my older son if he wanted to go back to camp for the rest of the summer, and he said, “Yes, I really want to!”

Most kids like being around other kids. And while I took him to the playground every day, it obviously was not enough for him. Not everyone is like me and just wants to be left alone in the dark to read a book, after all (yes, this is something I enjoyed at age five). At that point, I realized it would probably better for both of us if I went back to work full time. I did feel some guilt with my just-turned-a-year-old son, who is going through horrible separation anxiety, and just wants to be with me all day. But I know that in a few weeks or months, he too will start playing with his daycare friends, and look forward to school.

And as for me, I’ve been at work for about three weeks now. I do genuinely enjoy editing, so that’s always a plus, to like what you do. The coworkers and boss are all as sane as you can get in the world of advertising, and as usual, the Diet Coke is free, so I can’t complain. The fact that I can go to the bathroom without anyone screaming for me and opening the door and place a hot cup of coffee on a table without worrying that someone will knock it over is just a bonus.

But today is my son’s first day of kindergarten and my first day off work, and as school gets out at the crazy time of 11:10, I am looking forward to taking my son out for a quality afternoon of movies and ice cream.

Blah blah adverse events blah blah important safety information

I may have discovered an even more counterproductive way to write. As I have previously mentioned, my first two books were written in first draft with paper and pen. When I wrote the first chapter of Witch Blood, I was almost ready to release Wild Blood, and wanted to include it at the end. In my hurry to write, I did the unthinkable, and typed it directly into Word. That led me to my revelation: typing is much quicker than writing longhand. And, since that means the second draft doesn’t consist of transcribing notebooks of copy, that would make the process go faster as well. 

At first, I was elated that I had joined the rest of you in this century at typing my book directly onto my computer. And it was going so much faster than the first two books. But then, something bad happened–a new drug was launched. Okay, so technically that’s not a bad thing. Some may even call it a good thing, as I’m a freelance medical editor who gets paid by the hour. And don’t get me wrong–I love making money. But having transitioned from non-drug-launch average of about 20 hours of work a week to the drug launch average of about 50, I have to say that it is also quite tiring. 

While I used to get off work by mid-afternoon and have plenty of time to get home and write about two hours a day and also make dinner, I am now going in early and staying late and even working when my kid goes to bed and on weekends. Making mac and cheese has now become a time luxury I can’t afford. So you can guess what has happened to my writing in all of this. 

Believe me, when you spend ten hours a day staring at a 165-page document that goes something like “Blah blah liver failure blah toxoplasmosis blah antihypertensives,” the last thing you want to do is relax by sitting in front of a computer and typing. Let’s just say my sofa and I are almost as friendly now as we were during my maternity leave. So apart from waiting a few weeks for the work insanity to be over, I wondered when I could fit in some daily writing. It occurred to me that I didn’t want to sacrifice any of my precious relaxing on the sofa time, so the only occasion I would have to write was when it was otherwise impossible to relax. 

Since it’s fairly impossible to write while washing dishes or cleaning the cat litter pan (if any of you have figured this out, please let me know!), I began writing on the subway during my daily commute. And because it takes 45 minutes each way on a good day to get back and forth from Queens to TriBeCa, I manage to get a fair bit of writing done. 

Now, one may ask whether it is feasible or even safe to work on a computer while riding the subway. Since I have a desktop rather than a laptop, the answer for me is decidedly no. So have I once again abandoned technology in favor of paper and pen? No. Instead, I may have come up with an even more ineffective way of writing. 

What I do is this: I take out my handy iPhone and open up a new draft email. Then, since there has been a rash of iPhone theft on the subway (aka, apple picking), I clutch the device tightly with my left hand and type everything in with my poor, abused right pointer finger. Once I get home, cook dinner, eat dinner, read to child, bathe child, and put child to bed, I am free to go to my computer and copy and paste what I’ve written into my Word document. Then, if I haven’t brought work home with me, I am free to go sit on my sofa and dream of a future in which I am a full-time writer.